life lately

the bump and the boxes. 38 weeks.

back from the river

...and the bump at 31 weeks.

sunshine

as the sunshine starts to fade, and the rain becomes more frequent, i think it's fitting that a sunshine award was sent my way. thank you lizeylou. here are the answers to your questions...

colour... white. that may seem boring, but to me it represents, serenity, purity and possibility.
animal... i think the bee is an amazing little creature.
non-alcoholic drink... anything herbal. i love organic green tea with jasmine.
facebook or twitter... do not partake in either.
getting or giving presents... both. i am loving making gifts.
flower... i really can't choose one. i love them all.
pattern... what a weird question. i've never thought about this... i would have to say the patterns found in nature.
passion... mothering. education. crafting. celebrating the small moments in life.
number... eight. always has been.

the bump: blurr

late at night. me and the bump. 28 weeks.

twenty eight

twenty eight today. so i thought i'd share with you, twenty eight things about me...

one. i'm a homebody.
two. i love cooking, baking and dessert making.
three. i am lactose intolerant (making the above difficult at times.)
four. i am currently 18 weeks pregnant.
five. i was a teacher in a kindergarten for four years before becoming a mama.
six. i used to call my mum 'mama' when i was little and she hated it.
seven. i have one younger sister.
eight. my first job was as a swimming instructor.
nine. my husband gave me an ice cream maker for my birthday.
ten. i love getting bowen therapy.
eleven. my favourite number.
twelve. (before this pregnancy) i wanted four children. now we'll have to see about that.
thirteen. people often think that i'm outgoing, but it's really all an act.
fourteen. i won't buy eggs from the supermarket.
fifteen. the book that changed my life is "you are what you eat" by dr gillian.
sixteen. i used to be a swimmer. now i hate getting in bathers.
seventeen. i love books. no ipad, kindle, e-books for me.
eighteen. i drink tea. only herbal.
nineteen. i grew up on the river. love it. miss it.
twenty. jamie oliver is my kitchen buddy.
twenty one. i don't use any chemicals in the house.
twenty two. i am a light sleeper. i love to sleep with the fan.
twenty three. i love japan. i visited there years ago and dream about going back. the strange mix of modernism and culture is beautiful.
twenty four. i love winter. it allows me to do all my favourite things. stay inside, wear scarves, bake and burn candles.
twenty five. i internalise most things.
twenty six. my blood group is ab+. extremely rare.
twenty seven. i wish our house would hurry up and sell.
twenty eight. i would love more sleep.

blogging break. back soon xx

home

Home.

The most important place in our world. The most beautiful, loved and cherished space, there is no where I would rather be more.



















Inspired by my previous post and this amazing girl here!

Photos by Tim Coulson.

me

This article pretty much sums me up as a person. I found myself nodding in agreement the whole time I was reading it. Of course, my husband is quite the opposite.

But, you know what they say. Opposites do attract.

(Photo by Tim Coulson)

book :: the dirty life

My blogging absence is because of the above. I am totally absorbed in this beautiful book and can't put it down.

Even the pile of washing waits.

birth story

Just over one year ago I gave birth to my baby girl.
Here is our story...



It was mid pregnancy that we decided on a home birth with our first child. I wanted it to be at home, in water, peaceful and natural. As nature intended. I didn’t really see the need for a hospital, it was for sick people. I wasn’t sick. I was pregnant. Like many millions of women before me. However, I did feel comforted by the fact that we live on the same road as the hospital, literally, a 30 second drive away. I remember saying to my midwife, Wendy, that I wouldn’t hesitate going to the hospital if need be.
I enjoyed lying on the couch for my antenatal visits with my lovely midwife, Wendy, in the comfort of my own home.

At 35 weeks Wendy thought the baby was breech. A few weeks later, she thought it was posterior.

Wednesday 21^st July, 2010. I woke up with what felt like dull period pain. I met Wendy that morning at our homebirth coffee morning, and she said as soon as she saw me she knew I was in early labour. She said women about to give birth get slightly puffy in the face. So I went home, feeling a bit giddy with excitement, but still not really believing I was in labour. I was 37.5 weeks pregnant. Nick got “the call” and came home from work. That evening I (tried to!) make a birthday cake for the baby. I wanted to celebrate the baby’s birth with a home made cake – and I had heard that I might need the sugar afterwards! The chocolate cake came out burnt and uneatable. I was in labour and the cake proved it. 9pm Wendy listened to me breath through contractions over the phone and decided she should make her way over.

10pm I submerged into the nice warm pool in the lounge room. I had tried to stay out of the pool as long as possible, I wanted only use it when I really had to. It was Wendy who suggested I get in. Oh, it felt so relaxing, and I felt like I was being held – a gentle embrace from the water. At this point I was breathing through strong contractions. I had lots of pressure in my lower back. At 1am Thursday 22^nd July, Wendy suggested a lie down in bed, I think she may have said ‘sleep’ – but to call it that is laughable. So Nick and I laid down in bed together. I laid there on my side, not really thinking of anything else other than internally focusing on my breathing, and getting through each contraction. At 3.45am I felt like I needed to get things going again. I had my ‘sleep’ and was ready to go. My contractions were strong and frequent almost immediately, and I hoped back into the pool. By 5am I was starting to get tired, Wendy gave me Pulsatilla (homeopathy) for internal strength and I started falling asleep in between my contractions with my head on the side of the pool. By 7.15am we were discussing the idea of breaking my waters to help things along. I was starting to feel frustrated and I really wanted to progress. So in the pool, Wendy broke my waters and I felt a huge, satisfying gush. I remember this moment so vividly. I instantly went from feeling relief and pleasure, to a magnificent force taking over my whole body. This was not me anymore, I wasn’t in control. I had to listen to my body. It was so incredibly powerful. At 11 am I roared. I said to Wendy “that wasn’t me!”I had given my first full push. Amazing.

The pushing went on all day. I went from the pool, to the toilet. To the bed. To the pool. Back to the toilet where I finally decided I felt I could push most effectively. It felt good. I felt productive. I felt strong (strong enough to pull the hand rail off of the wall!) The pushing was so involuntary, my body (and baby)doing what it needed to do.

By about 3.30pm we made the decision to head to the hospital. The baby was doing brilliantly, it’s head was down, Wendy had first seen it hours ago. I think I just knew something wasn’t ‘right’. I was never fearful, I just knew something wasn’t quite as it should be – call it a sixth sense, I don’t know. But I knew I wanted to go.  I remember how ridiculous I felt, trying to pack a bag, whilst on my hands and knees, trying to get dressed, trying to breath through contractions and Wendy telling me NOT to push!

At the hospital I tried pushing for almost another hour with the help of the (unwanted!) vontouse. This did nothing to help baby out, so it was decided that I needed a c-section. It was at this point that I surrender to the fact that I might need some help. More important than my ‘birth plan’ was the health of my baby.

Nick held my hand as I lay behind the blue curtain. I felt  the weight of a little body being lifted out of me.“It’s a  girl” he told me with tears in his eyes. I told him to go to her. I remember him saying to me “she’s so beautiful”.  Ruby Mae Malinovski was born at 6.25pm Thursday 22^nd July 2010.

For the next 24 hours she lay on my bare chest. The warmth of her tiny body now on the outside of me.  Exactly where she needed to be.



Whilst it wasn't the calm home-birth we had planned, if I have learnt anything from my baby girl, it is this... What I want to do, and what she want to do, are usually two different things. And I wouldn't change that for the world.

...

Apart from family and friends who read this blog, I'm not really sure if I have ever talked about the fact that I am a teacher. An Early Childhood teacher to be specific, and it is my love and passion. I was previously an 'Early Childhood Educator' in my previous life, and whilst I did love having my own classroom, building wonderful relationships with the children and their families, I often felt constricted, or restrained. Frustrated at times. By many things, really. Programmes, school policy, time restrictions, the list could go on. I did love being a teacher. I loved learning alongside the children, putting fresh flowers at nose height, setting up 'spaces' , groups story time... Yes, I was a teacher. I put that in past tense, because I really do feel that was before. It is now, with the birth of my first daughter, that I truly feel like a teacher. A teacher in every sense of the word. Her teacher. A teacher in so many ways, that I feel like I have found my calling. It amazes me everyday what she learns. What she teaches me. I sit back and watch her, as she discovers the world around her. The tiniest things she learns, or does for the first time delights me. I think many of us parents forget that we are, actually our children's first teachers. I no longer feel restrained, or constricted. We can Play. All. Day. If we want to. Which to me, is how childhood should be. Learning through play. I love being my daughters first teacher... (And I love being her Mama.)

upcoming...

Me

Yourself: Homebody

Your partner: Supportive

Your hair: Curly

Your Mother: Is in the country

Your Father: Loves his motorbike

Your Favorite Item: Equally my pillow and my bed

Your dream last night: Wedding

Your Favorite Drink: Water

Your Dream Car: ?

Your Dream Home: Cottage in the hills

The Room You Are In: Lounge

Your fear: Unhappiness

Where you Want to be in Ten Years? Content

Who you hung out with last night: My sister

What You're Not: Comfortable in large groups

Muffins: Berry or banana

One of Your Wish List Items: Ugh boots

The Last Thing You Did: Eat dinner

What You Are Wearing: N's ugh boots

Your favorite weather: When the sun is shining

Your Favorite Book: Eat Pray Love

Last thing you ate: Stuffed capsicum

Your Life: Peaceful

Your mood: Happy

Your Best Friend: In Cambodia

What are you thinking about right now: A big mess I have to tidy up

Your car: White

What are you doing at the moment: Blogging

Your summer: Dry

Relationship status: Engaged

What is on your TV: TV is off

What is the weather like: Cool

When is the last time you laughed: Today